Did you build that?
You did not. You did not build that at all. Quite frankly, you should be ashamed for taking credit for work you didn’t do and money you clearly didn’t earn.
Now go to your room and think about what you’ve done. Thief.
(via Kurt Schlichter, whose Twitter feed is the only one more awesome than mine)
*Think about it. Why spend all that time meticulously grading papers when you can give everyone a C and…what? Oh, okay. In the spirit of our inspiration, President Obama, just give them all a solid B+. I’m sure they can get into college on that. They won’t have a job when they get out, but self-esteem? Tons.