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Yo’ Intellectual Elite is So Dumb…

Jimmie | October 2, 2011 | Comments (1)

The next time someone accuses me, as a Tea Partier and conservative, of being “anti-intellectual”, I’m going to point them to this post:

EVAN THOMAS, POLITICO: [New Jersey Governor] Christie would be a very appealing candidate except that he weighs too much. I mean, it’s an issue that everybody is uncomfortable with but it’s really an issue. [...]

COLBY KING, WASHINGTON POST: He’s a guy that I would love to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner with at the same setting.

MARGARET CARLSON, BLOOMBERG: Yeah, the all you can eat. [...]

MARK SHIELDS, PBS: Now, the weight thing is a problem, and I can say that when you sit in the bathtub, and the water level in the toilet does rise, it’s a pretty good indication that you probably ought to cut the second dessert. And I think that’s a problem with the Governor.

Hur hur hur! Chris Christie is fat! He’s also probably ugly! When he sits around the Governor’s Mansion he really sits around the Governor’s Mansion, am I right? He once wore an X-Men t-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on him! Hoo, boy! I just can’t get enough of that intelligent political analysis!

Here are your comedians, folks, and be sure to tip your wait staff! Evan Thomas, graduate of Harvard University, holds a law degree. Colbert King graduated from Howard University and spent decades working in the Senate, State Department, Treasury Department, and World Bank. Margaret Carlson holds a law degree and has been a pioneer in opinion journalism. Mark Shields graduated from Notre Dame and became a prominent political consultant with stints on the campaigns of Robert Kennedy, Edmund Muskie, and Sargent Shriver. It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, doesn’t it? Two lawyers, a political hack, and a career columnist walk into a television studio, because that’s the only place they can find gainful employment. Except that the joke is on us.

Hey, I’ve got one for you. What do you call a guy who worked on two failed Presidential campaigns and a failed Vice-Presidential campaign? I don’t know, but I bet he could get a job at PBS as an “expert”! Okay, that’s not all that funny, but what’s less funny is that part of Mark Shields’ paycheck comes out of your paycheck, so he’s not funny and he’s a professional leech.

Oh, I have another one. Did you hear the one about the guy who guaranteed 15 points for the Kerry/Edwards ticket in 2004 and lauded Barack Obama as “sort of a God”? No? Well, how about the one about the guy who drove Newsweek into such disrepute that it was barely worth a dollar when it sold to a Democratic patrol who turned it over to an opportunistic gossip queen who has managed to increase its circulation? That is the recent work record of intellectual elite star Evan Thomas. A real knee-slapper, huh?

This is what happens when you put the ideologically-inbred in a closed room and let them flap their gums for a few minutes. Their knowledge has suffered the same debilitating mutations as European royal families who looked down on the commoners, at least until their eyes crossed so badly they couldn’t look down on anyone. By then, though, it was too late and it wasn’t much longer before the pitchfork and torch crowd put them out of business, save for a few ceremonial roles in second-rate declining countries.

That’s the problem with declaring yourself as an “elite”. You occasionally have to prove it or become a laughing stock. Thomas, King, and company believe that Chris Christie is the joke, but their continuing descent into twittery and irrelevance is what’s really funny.