There’s No Crying — or Lightning — in Soccer!
I’ve played a fair amount of competitive sports in my life, and have watched quite a bit more. I’m familiar with the lame excuses a loser can concoct to make their loss sting a bit less. However, I’ve never seen an excuse quite as grand, nor delivered quite as earnestly, as the one given by the coach of the North Korean women’s soccer team. His squad lost a match to the hated Imperialist Pig-Dog United States team 2-0, but it wasn’t the fault of any of his players. They were just a little bit under the weather because, three weeks earlier, the entire team had been struck by lightning.
“When we stayed in Pyongyang during training our players were hit by lightning, and more than five of them were hospitalised,” said coach Kim, without naming the affected players specifically.
“Some stayed in hospital and then came to Germany later than the rest of us. The goalkeeper and the four defenders were most affected, and some midfielders as well. The physicians said the players were not capable of participating in the tournament.
“But World Cup football is the most important and significant event for a footballer, so they don’t want to think about anything but football.
“The fact that they played could be called abnormal, the result of very strong will.”
Ah, yes. The “strong will” of the socialist worker can not be thwarted by the lightning of the capitalist running-dog deity, who North Korea refuses to acknowledge because there is one god and he shoots a really mean round of golf.
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Category: The World At Large
