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I’m going to nominate this Kurt Schlichter masterpiece as an early contender for Quote of the Week.

You need to not only annoy stupid people, but to develop a taste for it.  Otherwise, you’ll be roadkill.

The “stupid people” of whom he speaks are the legion of addle-minded progressives who swarm the various social media platforms, eager to lay about the evil ReThuglican Koch Korporate Empire with all the righteous fury the latest bullet-point post from Think Progress of Media Matters will allow them.

I love Kurt’s advice here. He is a trial attorney by vocation, which means he knows a thing or three about arguing for effect.

At the outset, understand that you should never –ever – argue with your leftist opponents.  This may seem odd for a trial attorney to say – after all, isn’t that how I make my living?  No, it is not.  I never argue with the other side.  And neither should you.

No matter what argument I might make to another lawyer, he is never going to change his position.  I am not going to convince him of anything – nor is he me.  Now, he may convince himself of something – I might supply (without comment) a sampling of the evidence I have or the legal authority I’ll be smashing over his head in court.  But trying to argue him into agreeing with me is a waste of time and even risks giving away valuable intelligence on how I intend to defeat him.  So I don’t do it.

[...]

No, in law I argue to the judge and the jury – they matter because they make decisions.  My opponent is simply an obstacle to be breached in pursuit of victory.  Once I engage my opponent, he has an opportunity to respond and to try and seize the initiative.  So I don’t.  It drives them nuts.

And I treat leftist nimrods the same way, particularly as part of my Twitter antics.  I don’t argue for their benefit.  I don’t care if they change their minds.  I argue only to influence undecided people who have no firm opinions and to reinforce and boost the morale of people who already agree with me.  Those are the two ways you contribute to the cause within the social media – influencing the undecided and supporting the committed.

I have seen him put this tactic to work and, let me tell you, it is a thing of purest beauty. It helps greatly if you have a sense of humor — Kurt has one of the best I’ve seen, by the way — because, as I’ve said here before, humor is the best way to knock a progressive off his game. Ridicule stings a noble heart full to bursting with utopian dreams and more than few delusions of grandeur. Use it a couple times and watch how quickly Mr. Progressive McCivilNewTone starts throwing down the insults and invective.

Give it a try for yourself one day on Twitter or Facebook, or the comment section of your favorite blog, and see just how well it works. I bet you’ll end up on the winning side of the debate with a better reputation and you’ll make a few folks laugh. That, as Charlie Sheen might say, is #winning.

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