We should all be thankful to J.R.R. Tolkien today. Not only did he give the world one of the greatest creative gifts ever in Middle Earth, but he also saved us from a disaster that would have haunted us through the generations to this very day.

What disaster, you might ask? Well, how about a Lord of the Rings movie, with Paul McCartney as Frodo Baggins and directed by…wait for it…

Stanley Kubrick.

Once upon a time, the Fab Four—having slain the pop charts—decided to set their sights on the Dark Lord Sauron by making a Lord of the Rings feature, starring themselves. One man dared stand in their way: J.R.R. Tolkien.

According to Peter Jackson, who knows a little something about making Lord of the Rings movies, John Lennon was the Beatle most keen on LOTR back in the ’60s—and he wanted to play Gollum, while Paul McCartney would play Frodo, Ringo Starr would take on Sam and George Harrison would beard it up for Gandalf. And he approached a pre-2001 Stanley Kubrick to direct.

If this movie had been made, it would have destroyed Tolkien’s entire creation and we’d still be talking about it as the worst movie ever made. How bad could it have been? Think “live-action Yellow Submarine, with Elves”.

Yeah, I’ll wait while you slam your head on your desk to get rid of that mental image.

On the other hand, I bet it would have had an interesting soundtrack.

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3 Responses to “John, Paul, George, and…Samwise? Oh, Thank You, Mr. Tolkien!”

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