BREAKING: Barack Obama’s Veins Flow with the Blood of Muggles

| October 14, 2010 | 1 Reply

It’s not enough that the tainted blood of Dick Cheney flows through the pure veins of the Obamessiah, but now this? How much more can one man endure?

Do Sarah Palin and President Obama have anything in common? You betcha.

The Tea Party darling and frequent critic of the President are actually cousins, albeit, 10th cousins, according to a report on

Oh, the horror! The blue blood of our beloved leader mingled with the blood of that woman? It’s as if the Malfoy family line contained the random Weasley or Granger hidden deep inside it. Arugula and caribou meat simply do not mix!

I fail to see how this story could get wors…oh. Oh no.

Palin is not the only Obama basher related to the commander in chief. Conservative shock jock Rush Limbaugh is, too.

Limbaugh and Obama are also 10th cousins, once removed.

In all seriousness  (well not “all” but certainly “most”), this shouldn’t come as much of a shock to anyone. America is, after all, the great Melting Pot and Americans have been mixing bloodlines since the first pilgrim noticed how hot that Wampanoag chick was in her buckskins*. President Obama has made a point of reminding us of his mixed heritage like Mr. Burns when he learned that Maggie Simpson had his teddy bear, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone that he picked up some early American Founder genes as well.

If only he’d picked up the early American Founder penchant for rugged individualism and limited government as well. But, I guess any family has to have that one member who makes us shake our head in sorrow, eh Sarah and Rush?

*Note to my female readers, wearing Uggs with a miniskirt does not make you look like a hotter Pocahontas.

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Category: Political Pontifications

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