Don’t Look Now, but Here Comes Fannie Mae Again!
You would think, after watching our government push the housing market into a flaming pit of ruination and woe, that the last thing we’d want is a resurgent Fannie Mae sallying forth into the nation with a mission to sell more dodgy mortgages.
“Buy new with $1,000 down,” the advertisement says, the words resting atop a trim green clapboard house offset by a bright blue sky. “The time has come. Stop wasting rent check after rent check and start building equity in your own home. And with only $1,000 down, affordable monthly payments and no private mortgage insurance required, the dream is closer than you think.”
It sounds too good to be true. But it is true. This offer does not come from a subprime lender, looking to reel in thousands of unqualified and ill-advised homebuyers, only to slap them with add-ons, fees and variable rates. It is not a teaser or a trick. The advertisement references a program initiated by the National Council of State Housing Agencies and Fannie Mae, the taxpayer-backed, government-sponsored enterprise that buys up mortgages from lending banks.
Brilliant! I don’t know who at Fannie Mae came up with this steaming chunk of Super Geniusness, but I’m nominating that person for the All-Universe Award for Excellence in the Realm of Mega-Awesomeness.
Do these dunderheads running our Federal government has some mental problem that prevents them from remembering recent national catastrophes or are they so unbelievably married to their ideology that they cannot fathom how this is a monumentally bad idea? I swear, were I the President, I would do everything in my power to dynamite both Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac. I’d destroy both those pits of unimaginable menace so thoroughly that one brick would not sit atop another one. I’d put in an emergency requisition for salt such that I could pour a layer on both buildings an inch deep so that nothing could grow there for the next century. Then, I’d require every Federal employee in the country to walk past the ruins as a demonstration that I am willing to do the very same things to their office if they ever recklessly endanger the well-being of honest Americans.
You think that’s too much? Hardly. I held back the impulse to soak the whole salt-buried site in gasoline and set it aflame. It’s probably best I’m not President.
(via memeorandum)
Other Posts of Interest:
- Congress to Hold Hearings on Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac…Two Weeks After the Election
- Aww, A Little Socialism is Okay if it’s Republican Socialism?
- We’re Investigating the Wrong Crooks
Category: Our New Democratic Overlords, The Economy and Your Money
