Today, We Can Kill the Teabagger Bogeyman in Massachusetts

| January 19, 2010 | 8 Replies

I hesitate to further the progressive meme that conservatives are baby-eating, blood-sucking night terrors that lurk in the all-concealing shadows waiting to feed upon the tears of humanity, but when I see the utter despair into which the mere thought that a semi-conservative might win a Senate race in Massachusetts has thrown the journalistic world, I can think but one thing:

“Listen to them —  children of the left. What music they make!”

In Scott Brown we have an irresponsible, homophobic, racist, reactionary, ex-nude model, teabagging supporter of violence against woman.

You might be tempted to mistake that for the snarling howl of an alpha wolf on the hunt, but don’t. It’s really a whimper of bowel-loosening fear. Keith Olbermann is one election away from having to wear Depends on the set to avoid a nightly chair replacement as election after election between now and 2012 drive him farther into the depths of a bottle of grain alcohol.

But it’s not really Scott Brown who has frightened Olbermann and gang so badly. This is the actual bogeyman :

“You know what scares our people more than the fact that they lost Ted Kennedy’s seat and the Obama mystique may take a huge hit [today]?” says the DNC adviser. “The fact that Democrats and the media can no longer make the tea party types out to be irrational, inflexible ideologues who are supporting nothing but extreme right-wing candidates. The tea party movement supported Brown, raised millions for him and worked for him, and he is not necessarily their kind of guy. Brown proves the tea party movement can be tapped politically for Republican candidates anywhere in the country if they are basically sound on taxes and small government. That is huge.”

The progressive left is scared to death that this election will kill the carefully-crafted and MSM-reinforced”teabagger” smear once and for all. Ever since the summer, “teabagger” has been their answer to everything. Do you oppose government-run health care? TEABAGGER! You’re not willing to pay a dramatically-higher energy bill based on the precarious claims of global warming apocalypse? TEABAGGER! Do you go to church semi-regularly and feel that your beliefs, such as they are, actually do have a place in the public debate? TEABAGGER! 

Once that’s gone, what remains? Progressives will have to either find a new bogeyman to replace the Tea Parties or start defending their totalitarian dreams on their merits. Don’t expect the latter to happen.

UPDATE: William Jacobsen is live-blogging the election today. If you can, why not watch Olbermann’s worst nightmare come true in real time?

UPDATE 2Since there won’t be any exit polls, there won’t be any serious numbers coming out of Massachusetts until the polls close at 8 PM and the tally begins. By a happy coincidence, I tape The Delivery on Tuesday nights. Unless this race is very close, and I don’t believe it will be, I should know who wins when I get behind the mic, so you’ll want to be around tomorrow morning to hear me laugh a hearty victory laugh.

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