Don’t Bother Us With Your Primitive Accounting Superstitions. There Are Jobs Being Created or Saved!
There seems to be a lack of alacrity in the Obama administration over the fact that its means of telling us where it spent our trillion dollars’ worth of stimulus money is slightly less rigorous than room full of blind, insane gibbons flinging darts marked “stimulus money” toward a map of the United States.
When asked about why there are hundreds of imaginary Congressional districts on the Recovery.gov website, the director of communications for the website said “who knows, man, who really knows?” I’d love to say I was making that quote up, but I’m not.
The President has a ready answer for us. It’s not that his accounting procedures are lacking but that his programs can not be accurately described by the dark magic of accounting. He said that accounting for taxpayer money “is an inexact science” and that the important thing was that “we make sure we’re accelerating job growth”. He didn’t explain how we’re supposed to make sure we’re accelerating job growth if we can’t verify that we’re creating jobs in the first place (and these charlatans contend that we’re still losing jobs instead of creating them).
The answer, as ever, lies in trusting Barack Obama says we must.
Three months ago, the critics denied that the Recovery Act was making any jobs. Now as the evidence has proven that wrong, they are left to cast doubts about just how many jobs were made and where. Time is on our side: as late reports coming in, new data will shows the jobs total climbing, and the numbers getting more reliable. In the end, the data debate is frustrating, but a side show: the American people care a lot more about our success in creating jobs than our precision in counting them.
Doubt the Obamessiah? Demand evidence of his mighty works? Perish the thought. Besides, what is there to doubt? According to the Vice President’s office, we’ve already reached a historic level of government excellence. According to the bone throwing shamans in the Citadel of Quackery known as the Government Accounting Office, about ten percent of the Stimulus jobs (accounting being akin to throwing bones in a sooty cave, of course) without spending a penny on them. It’s simply a miracle borne of the Obamessiah’s mastery of the levers of government.
“Never before in history has a federal government program been this transparent and accountable,” [Vice President Joe Biden's spokesman, Jay] Carney told ABC News. “Never. Not even close.”
Apparently, the only danger we really danger we face is being blinded by the sudden burst of bright light as the entire Obama administration spontaneously transfigures into beings of pure bureaucratic glory and ascends to the Heaven of Efficiency.
Better wear your sunglasses.
Other Posts of Interest:
- Where is the Small Business Town Hall Meeting?
- Joe Biden’s Wacky, Mixed-Up Economic Stimulus Fantasy Land
- It’s a Contradiction Wrapped in a Fog, Inside a President
Category: President Barack Obama, The Economy and Your Money
I wish accounting had been such an "inexact science" when I was struggling through it in college!