You are here: Home » Stuff I Like » Mozactly? Mozactly!

Mozactly? Mozactly!

Jimmie | September 12, 2008 | Comments (3)

Those of you who read The Shack might have run across the word “mozactly” a few times. It’s not a real word, but I use it a lot and, once in a while, someone asks me about it. That happened tonight when I got a comment today from a man who runs a blog called “Mozactly”. I thought it might make for a good post, so here it is.

I’m curious what you mean when you say Mozactly. It’s a word I thought I made up (see my blog) when I was a child. (I was googling the word just now and was linked to your blog).

If you saw my thrilling, but ultimately losing, appearance on Jeopardy! a couple of years ago, you’ve already heard the story. It was the question Alex picked to ask me during the interview segment, much to my chagrin. If you didn’t see me on Jeopardy, then here’s the story.

I worked with a police Sergeant about 15 years ago named Tommy. Tommy had a bunch of great stories and as we got to be friends, he told me a lot of them. This is my favorite.

In his early career, before he came to Maryland, Tommy was in the narcotics division of the North Carolina Highway Patrol (which would make the story about three decades old). He and his partner had been working a case where the suspect had a good-sized marijuana patch growing in a far corner of his property and, as part of that investigation, they interviewed the suspect’s neighbor.

The neighbor was an old, black, North Carolina farmer who had lived in the area all his life and whose family had lived there long before he was born. He spoke on a low, slow drawl and apparently threw in a few words that he had pretty much just made up. At one point, Tommy asked him a yes or no question and, instead of saying “exactly” the farmer replied “mozactly”. That struck Tommy’s partner funny and he started to laugh but managed to choke it back. The farmer couldn’t see him, but Tommy could and watching his friend try so hard not to laugh started to make Tommy laugh as well. Since he very well couldn’t laugh right in the face of the old man, he tried to hold it in.

Have you ever tried to hold in a laugh that just wants to come out? It’s not easy and Tommy didn’t do a very good job of hiding what he was doing. The farmer saw what was going on and knew why they were trying to hard not to laugh. It flustered him, which tickled Tommy even more. The more Tommy tried not to laugh, the more flustered the old man got. Finally, in exasperation, he crossed his arms and said, defiantly, “Well…well…what I meants to say was pozactly!”.

That set them both off. Interview done. Two officers lost to laughter. Old man miffed.

It’s such a nifty word, though, that I’ve used it and the phrase “what I meants to say was pozactly” ever since Tommy told me the story. How can you not? My friends have taken it up as well, to the point where, if I say “mozactly”, one of them will ask me if that’s what I meants to say. It amuses us even though most folks have no idea what we’re talking about.

At least until I tell them the story.

So there you go. The origin of the word “mozactly”. Chalk it up to an old black North Carolina farmer and a couple of narc cops. As an epilogue, I should note that the old farmer has likely passed away by now and my friend died about a year ago. Thanks to this story, they both live on in linguistic infamy.