From Coppola’s Camera to God’s Ears
The desperation from the Obama campaign is bringing out the Godfather in both The Anchoress and Ace, and I love it.
The Anchoress steps into Don Clinton’s office and shares his conversation with a man who needs a favor.
Don Clinton: (remembers himself, shrugs and smokes) Women’ll stick a shiv under your ribs any chance they get; they’re full of surprises. (Leans forward and taps his desk) And you mind this, sir, that bearskin mama ain’t no chump. That there is a full-on-she-grizzly, with all the smarts she needs. She knows energy and she knows oil, and she can hand you your ass quicker than I can get into trouble with a blonde. (Sighs) I like ‘em blonde. The bottle-kind of blonde.
The One: (Looking askance at Don Clinton, who has gone dreamy-eyed) Well, this one sure surprised me.
Don Clinton: (laughing and smoking) Son, when you’ve lived longer, you’ll know there’s a surprise in every one of ‘em. And a shiv. And no matter what, the shiv is always a surprise.
The One: Well, she’s not going to shove one in me…I will not be bullied and mistreated like this!
Don Clinton: Oh, get yourself a hankie, Candace, and stop bleedin’ all over my rug. The more you whine and cry the more that li’l Alaskan hootchi-goo is gonna laugh while she grinds the stiletto heel of those cute little size sevens straight through your pericardium and into your heart before you even know what’s happened!
The One: (falls to the floor in contrite supplication) Help me, Godfather, help me! What do I do? How do I get this mean girl to stop beating me up, and reclaim my glamor, my “it” factor? My minions in the press have been going after her with everything they have, and they’re getting booed! Next “I” might get booed, oh, what do I do -
Don Clinton: (leaps from his chair and smacks The One twice on the face, smack! smack!) You can be man! Be a man!
The One: (pathetic) I don’t know how. I just…don’t know how.
Be a man? Not that nancy-boy Obama.
Meanwhile, Ace is dreaming of a political bloodbath and invokes the greatest scene in any Godfather movie (via Robert McCain). My only request is that Keith Olbermann play the role of Moe Green.
Oh yes, let it be.
Other Posts of Interest:
- Oh, Come On People. Is This the Best Thing We Can Find to Talk About? Seriously?
- John McCain’s New Ad Leaves A Mark
- Behold the Passion of the Nutroots
Category: Cool Columnists and Wicked Writers, The 2008 Horse Race
