Now We Begin the Era of Zorn!
With all the political news flying about this week, I’m afraid I almost lost sight of what is truly important – the beginning of football season!
My Beloved Redskins kick off the 2008 NFL season tonight in New York against the Super Bowl Champion New York Giants. I almost hate to root against the Giants because there is a lot I like about that team. I like Eli Manning quite a lot. He seems a very decent man and he has a ton of talent. He’s spent his entire professional career being bashed by the obnoxious and arrogant New York sports press so it was very nice watching him shut them all up in the Super Bowl. I also like that the team ditched locker room albatross Jeremy Shockey and his clunky brick hands. It’s no coincidence that the Giants went on a winning streak the game after Shockey went out for the season with broken leg. Rumors that Jeff Gillooly will be getting a ring during the team’s Super Bowl ceremony are just that. So far as I know.
Still, these are the Giants and they must go down to humiliating defeat. I like them, but I’m not crazy.
The Redskins have made a bunch of changes, most notably at the top where Jim Zorn takes over from the legendary Joe Gibbs. It’s Zorn’s first-ever shot at being a head coach and he gets to do it with one of the most storied and successful franchises in the game. Zorn comes to Washington by way of the X-Men, where he gained a reputation as an introspective Chinese mutant with the capacity to destroy the entire planet. There seems to be some controversy about whether he was really Magneto in disguise or not during this time, a subject to which Coach Zorn has never spoken in a press conference. I blame the Redskins press corps, most of whom work directly for the team owner Dan Snyder.
Well, okay. No. Jim Zorn really isn’t a mutant, so far as I know. But the Redskins media folks really are largely Snyder’s folks, which means that it’s left to folks like me to give you a view of the team not wholly tinged with Burgundy and Gold. So if they stink tonight, I’ll be sure to let you know about it tomorrow.
But they won’t. ‘Cause the know how much that would hurt me. Especially since they went to all that trouble to sign hunky D-Lineman Jason Taylor, who brings lots and lots of sacks and the desire to ram professional curmudgeon Bill Parcells’ snarky comments about him in the off-season down his fishy throat.
Ladies, did I mention that Jason Taylor is hunky? Oh yes, he is. No need to thank me. Just sign up for a trial membership to Amazon Prime. That’ll thank me plenty.
See you after the game.
What? There’s a speech tonight? Oh yeah. I heard about that. Let’s hope the game doesn’t go into overtime, huh?
UPDATE: Criminey! I forgot my fearless prediction. Look for Zorn’s crazy mental powers to baffle the Giants defense and for Brandon Jacobs to again not live up to his hype. Eli has a good game and new starting TE Boss makes the Big Apple forget about Big Whiner Shockey, but it won’t be enough to overcome missing two critical pieces of the defensive line from last year. Portis hits the century and scores a touch, Jason Cambell throws for two more.
Redskins 24 – Giants 20
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Category: My Beloved Redskins
Good luck with your 'skins. I am stuck with the Chiefs who once again are stuck with a crappy coach. We can never seem to get it together our here in KC.
Well, the good news is that now your Redskins will only have to lose one more game to the Giants. Big Blue certainly won’t go 16-0 this season, but they might go 8-0 in the NFC East. And they will surely go 2-0 against the Redskins (only one more game to go). Here’s hoping the Skins get a wild card berth so we can beat them again. But my big hope is for the Peyton-Eli Super Bowl. With Tom Brady a little shaky, that could happen.
“We can never seem to get it together our here in KC.”
You never do, do you? But at least you live in a great town. I’ve been to KC many times, and I’ve always loved it. Great BBQ, and that’s saying a lot coming from someone who lived in Texas.
Oops, I’m sorry, I meant to say the “Super Bowl Champion New York Giants.” I’m so used to losing that I can’t adapt to winning yet. But Eli is helping me along.