In Michelle Obama's World, We All Win the Lottery, Because of Hope!

| May 29, 2008 | 3 Replies

Wow, does Michelle Obama really believe what she said at a campaign stop today?

Fear is the reason this country is where it is today. Fear is a useless emotion. Don’t ever make decisions based on fear. Make decisions based on hope and possibility. Make decisions based on what should happen, not what shouldn’t. Don’t ever make decisions based on fear.

I can not even begin to fully detail how factually wrong and flat-out moronic that is. Every single sentence is either wrong or the worst possible advice you can give another human being. The thing she said twice is such horrible of advice that I’m amazed she could throw it out there with a straight face. The more you separate the paragraph into individual sentences, the more ridiculous her advice becomes and the more gullible the crowd shows itself for lapping it up.


I’m going to have to let the first sentence go for someone else to address. I don’t have the time or the inclination point out just how misguided Michelle Obama is about the history of this country. I almost feel sorry that she has to go through the pain of living in a country she so obviously and thoroughly despises. One wonders why she doesn’t use the great fortune she’s made thanks to the freedom and opportunity she has in this country to live somewhere that she likes better. I’m not saying she has to leave, but it’s clear that she’d be a lot happier if she did.

The rest of the quote, though, is…I don’t know what it is. Apparently, she wants all our decisions to be “based on hope and possibility”. Okay, then here’s the plan. We’re all going to take every dime we make for the next two months and buy lottery tickets, Michelle included. That’s a decision “based on hope and possiblity”. Each of us hopes to win. Each of us have a possibility of winning. Each of us will also get an eviction notice and have to beg for food by the time that two months is done, too.

But not only must our decisions be grounded on hope and possibility, but also on “what should happen”. Well, that’s even better. Not only do I have hope and possibility about winning the lottery, but it’s clear to me that, I “should” win. It’s only fair, after all. I haven’t won it yet. It’s my turn. I’m a good guy and I’d give quite a bit of my winnings to needy people. As a bonus for her, the government would get about half of that money, too! Who loses there? So, according to Michelle Obama, it’s a good thing for me to blow two months’ pay on lottery tickets, not only because of “hope and possibility” but also because it “should happen”. Of course, the universe doesn’t give a rat’s patoot about what I think “should” happen. There are these things called laws over which we have no say at all, such as the law of probabilities and the law of paying my rent on time so I don’t get thrown out on the street and the law of needing food so I don’t die.

As for the idea that we shouldn’t make decisions based on fear, well, let’s put her and a hungry bear in a room and see just how long it takes her to get to the door. When she gets out, I’d be interested in seeing just how much of her decision to leave the room was based on fear and how much was based on “hope and possibility”. See, one of the things we’ve learned from studying humans over their long history is that fear is an incredibly useful emotion. Fear keeps human beings alive. Fear keeps human beings out of really bad trouble. Fear is what keeps small children from grabbing pots of boiling water off of hot stoves. Fear is what keeps us from blowing our money on the lottery instead of paying our rent and light bills and buying groceries. You could make a very good case that misplaced fear, like drumming up the fear at a campaign rally that Hillary Clinton actually raised broached the idea of a Barack Obama assassination even though she very plainly said nothing of the sort, is useless and even incredibly harmful. I don’t think Michelle Obama’s going to make that case, though. It doesn’t suit her message.

I’m amazed that she would say something that dumb right out in public. I’m even more amazed that the lefty HuffPuff blogger would let something so at odds with scientific fact and regular old common-sense just pass by with nought but a breathless sigh of adoration.

Okay, I’m not quite so amazed at that. I imagine that if Michelle told everyone at the rally to buy nothing but lottery tickets for two months, she’d be right at the front of the line.

(via memeorandum)

UPDATE: Thanks see-dubya, for the iced tea on my desk!

Hmm, should I run from this rabid saber-toothed wolverine? No. That’s just the fear talking. Pat it on the head, and you might make a new friend!

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