Once upon a time, the poor cute polar bear was the public face of the coming global warming apocalypse. They were dying, we were told, drowning because the floes of ice on which their survival depended were melting away. Okay, we did have to look over the fact that polar bears are pretty much the Mark Spitzes of the bear world, but the story tugged at our heartstrings.

Until the Government of Nunavut, who lives with the polar bears, let us know that the polacalypse wasn’t, in fact, happening. So now that polar bears aren’t exactly dwindling down to nothingness, the Cult of Global Warming needs itself a brand-new mascot.

Enter narwhals and musk oxen! I suspect that selling either of these are the new public face of global warming is going to present a bit of a challenge to the cult’s marketing wing, but if they can seel Al Gore as a prophet, they might well have another miracle or two still left in them.