Global Warming Will Cause…Cannibalism??

| April 2, 2008 | 2 Replies

lolcats-cannibalism.JPGGood Lord is Ted Turner ever a towering monument to the fact that you can get rich even though you’re a blithering idiot. Brent Baker caught part of an interview with Turner on the Charlie Rose show and here’s a bit of what he had to say on why we need to hit the big panic button on global warming:

Not doing it will be catastrophic. We’ll be eight degrees hottest in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals. Civilization will have broken down. The few people left will be living in a failed state — like Somalia or Sudan — and living conditions will be intolerable. The droughts will be so bad there’ll be no more corn grown.

Wow. Okay. We do need to explore this.

Let’s just say for the sake of argument that he’s right about the temperature change and in 30 or 40 years the entire globe will be warmer on average by eight degrees Celsius. That means that his home city of Atlanta, GA will go from an average temperature of about 61 degrees Fahrenheit to about 75 degrees Fahrenheit, which is the average yearly temperature of Miami, Florida where, last I checked, residents are not generally carving each other into steaks. Droughts are not raviging the land so that no food can be grown and, regardless of what you think of the Florida Democratic Primary soap opera, civilization has not broken down.

One thing that is almost entirely lost in the global warming panic is what the temperature change actually means. One degree of average temperature equals about one degree of latitude on the earth’s surface. So if Atlanta, which sits at about 33.45 N on the globe gets 8 degrees warmer, it’ll be as warm as any city that’s sitting at 25.45 N latitude right now. That not only includes Miami, but also Dubai, UAE and Taipei, Taiwan. The total non-cannibal population of those cities is about 4.5 million, give or take a few.

I imagine if you lived in Atlanta now and started walking, you’d be in Ted Turner Cannibal Land faster than the planet will get you there because of our horrible rape of the Earth. You could probably send back reports of the chaos to the rest of us, just in case.

Me, I’ll be fine. I’ll be living in the balmy climes of what we now know as Jerusalem or Jacksonville, Florida waiting for the flood of cannibals to come north.

Robert McCain has archival evidence that his gullibility isn’t a new thing. I just hope he’s ready for the cannibals to come…

Category: Huh? What??, Oh the Climate, It is A-Changin'

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