The Sundries Shack 2008 Presidential Poll

A while back, I ranked the Presidential candidates in one big list based on my order of preference. I think that perhaps it’s time to do it again, what with the Iowa Caucuses (I hate that word with a passion, because it’s so graceless). So here we go.

1. Fred Thompson – Every conservative principle I want bundled up in an honest and earnest human being.
2. Mitt Romney – If I can’t get honest and forthright, I’ll take the guy who will pander to me the most. At least I know he can stay bought for four years until we find someone better to run against him.
3. Hillary Clinton – Wait…what? Clinton here? Yep, and I’ll tell you why. She almost guarantees a Republican majority in Congress in two years, which puts the legislative ball back in their court. She’ll fight the terrorists more vigorously than any other Democrat. I know where she stands, at least broadly, and can act accordingly.
4. Rudy Giuliani – Hmm..he keeps saying he’d nominate “judges in the mold of Scalia and Alito” like it’s an incantation to ward off all of his natual impulses not to nominate that kind of a judge. Look, Giuliani is as socially liberal as you’re ever likely to see in a Republican candidate for any national office. I’d have to hope that, for four years, his worst impulses can be checked by the more sensible members of his party and, hopefully, his cabinet. At least he’d be good on national security stuff.

And now we’re into the section of the candidates I would not vote for under any circumstances. They have either taken stances, sponsored legislation, or have policies I find so unredeeming that I don’t believe they could ever win my vote, not even if they transplanted Ronald Reagan’s brain into their own heads. Again, in order of preference.

1. A Ham Sandwich, with spicy Mustard
2. Mike Huckabee
3. John McCain
4. Barak Obama
5. John Edwards
6. Ron Paul
7. The Other Guys (Dodd, Kucinich, Biden, Whatever mannequin the Libertarians are running, Al Gore, Pat Paulsen)

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Category: The 2008 Horse Race