Mark Steyn’s review of the candidate’s Christmas campaign messages is a must-read today because it’s likely to be the funniest thing you’ll see all day. Here’s a taste:
John Edwards’s message is the usual Dickensian affair about the two Americas. I forget the details, but the upshot is that one America is a land of spindly emaciated Tiny Tims with barely three farthings to rub together for their next cup of gruel, while the other’s a marshmallow world where Dick Cheney, high on wassail, shoots a brace of turducken out of season, and then chows down as the Radio City Rockettes pop up out of his figgy pudding and come kicking across the dining table singing “Santa Baby.” You’d have to have a heart of stone not to be moved by Edwards’ poignant vignette of a divided America, tastefully lit with the warm glow of Christmas candles, unless it’s the glare from his styling mousse.
Rudy Giuliani wears a sleeveless red sweater with a tie underneath, which gives it the look of a seasonal bulletproof vest. But he engages in some charmingly leaden banter with Santa. “Under my administration, in New York incidents of bearded men coming down the chimney and taking your milk and cookies fell 72 per cent.”
“Ho ho ho!”
“Spread ‘em, punk!”
“Don’t tase me, bro! Heeeaaauggghhhaaaiii!”
(I quote from memory.)
Priceless. Read the whole thing, as they say.
There is one Christmas message Steyn didn’t mention, though, likely because it’s only come out in the past couple of days. It’s also the only one that doesn’t feature the candidate’s mug front and center, dispensing holiday cheer with the grim relentlessness and frayed cheer of a shopping mall Santa ten minutes before closing time. That one comes from Fred Thompson and, even though he’s my man this campaign, I think you will find his Christmas greetings a welcome change to the pandering platitudes being shoveled out by the Assorted Sweaters in Iowa. It may just bring a tear to your eye.
Wow-that’s a great ad. Leave it to Fred to have the best one.
FRED THOMPSON is the best person to lead this country. He is a true conservative and has been his entire life. All one has to do is check his record to see this.
During my time in the Army as an Intelligence Analyst, I personally served under both Presidents Carter and Reagan (as my commanders in chief). Without argument, President Reagan was the best commander-in-chief a military person could ever have served under. Fred Thompson possesses the same qualities and vision as President Reagan in that he is strong on national defense and sees a dire need to secure our borders and control immigration.
I can think of no better person to lead this country and fix the problems we have. He is the only candidate from either party who has specific and detailed plans on border security and immigration reform; revitalization of America’s armed forces; saving and protecting Social Security; and tax relief and economic growth. These are detailed on his Web site at http://www.fred08.com. I challenge you to find any other candidate who has laid out specific plans to fix anything.
Fred Thompson has published his first principles, some of which are mentioned above. In addition to those, he strongly believes in individual liberty, personal responsibility, limited government, federalism, traditional American values, the rule of law and is a strong proponent of the Second Amendment — all concepts established during the birth of our country and documented in our Constitution.
Again, try to find any candidate who has laid out their plans to “fix” this country. You will find they all speak in vague and abstract terms on their plans.
For those who have heard Fred Thompson speak, you will usually hear him say that the Fred Thompson you see today is the same Fred Thompson you saw yesterday and is the same Fred Thompson you will see tomorrow. He stands by his principles and values and doesn’t shift his positions based on polls or public opinion; in other words, he doesn’t say what the voters want to hear just to get elected, but remains steadfast on his views and convictions.
During his time in the Senate he focused on three areas: to lower taxes, strengthen national security and expose waste in the federal government. Fred Thompson has foreign policy experience, having served as member of the Senate Foreign Relations and Senate Intelligence committees.
As chairman of the Senate Governmental Affairs Committee, he opened the investigation in 1997 on the Chinese government’s attempt to influence American policies and elections, and this investigation identified connections with the Clinton administration (documented in the committee’s report).
As a member of the Finance Committee, he worked tirelessly to enact three major tax-cut bills. Fred Thompson remains steadfast and even though a person may not agree with all his views and he understands some may disagree with him, you can count on him to be consistent and unwavering.
Don’t be fooled by his laid back approach and what critics call his “laziness.” As a former assistant U.S. attorney, he earned a reputation as a tough prosecutor and he possesses the toughness this country needs in order to tackle today’s and tomorrow’s issues.
I ask that you take a hard look at what this country needs, then take a hard look at all the other candidates’ views, policies, their records and their track record on consistency. Fred Thompson possesses integrity, loyalty, commitment, energy and decisiveness, all traits of an effective leader, and will emerge as the best person to take this country boldly forward.