Pelosi Thinks of the War and Sobs, Just a Little, In Despair

Ladies and gentlemen, the Speaker of the House.

“They like this war. They want this war to continue,” Pelosi, D- Calif., told reporters. She expressed frustration over Republicans’ ability to force majority Democrats to yield ground on taxes, spending, energy, war spending and other matters.

“We thought that they shared the view of so many people in our country that we needed a new direction in Iraq,” Pelosi said at her weekly news conference in the Capitol. “But the Republicans have made it very clear that this is not just George Bush’s war. This is the war of the Republicans in Congress.”

There is so much sheer dumb in those paragraphs that I barely know where to begin.

It is apparently unthinkable to Nancy Pelosi that someone may actually dislike war yet want to wage a war until it is won. In her world wars are not won or lost, it seems, but simply ended in an act of political hand-waving that dissipates them harmelessly into the ether like that big ol’ tornado at the end of Twister. Indeed, you could imagine her squeezing her eyes close and blowing on her birthday cake candles and just wishing and wishing for that bad old war, the war that’s been so pesky would just go away and why won’t the Republicans act like all those lovely women in the pink outfits who like her so much right up to where she loses yet another “end the war” vote.

And what’s with this “new direction” stuff? We got one of those. You might have heard of it. We call it, for lack of a better word, the “surge” and there’s this guy, General Petraeus, who’s been doing just a bang-up job with this “new direction”. Pelosi might have seen at least his face considering that’s he’s testified on Capitol Hill and everything. I hear tell that he showed up on a magazine cover or two and even in a full page advertisement run by some of her dearest political buddies in the New York Times. Perhaps the dear Speaker should consider that the Republicans are in tune with the American people and that she and the rest of her 22 Percent Club are the ones ever so slightly out of step.

The more I see her, the more it’s painfully obvious that Nancy Pelosi is just not suited to be Speaker of the House. The job is clearly beyond her and she’s badly outmatched by the current House Minority Leader, who I think is actually a potted ficus.

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Category: Our New Democratic Overlords, The Long War Here At Home