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The Southern Scourge

Jimmie | May 14, 2007 | Comments (0)

Dean Barnett conjures up a terrifying picture (albeit not one that scares him):

“Now imagine what a candidate could get done if he achieved fluency in pop culture. Picture a candidate who could effortlessly segue from paying homage to Dale Earnhardt’s #3 to saying how much High Noon has always meant to him. Conjure up a contender who could unashamedly admit that if owning every George Strait record makes him a square, so be it, and then quickly pivot to the many times tears welled in his eyes when sports heroes like Curt Schilling or Willis Reed rose above pain to perform in an almost super-human fashion.”

That’s not pop culture. That’s rural Southern culture. Nascar. The opiate of the good ol’ boy masses. Gary Cooper. A great movie, but hardly au courant. George Strait, gawd help us.

Professor, that’s not rural Southern culture, either. That’s your basic American culture right there.

Let’s look at the points one by one.

NASCAR: Right now, the current points leader is Jeff Gordon, one of those redneck good ol’ boys from California. The guy behind him in the standings is from California, too. How about Matt Kenseth, the guy in third place? Well, he’s from Wisconsin.

In fact, of the top ten NASCAR Cup drivers right now, only two are from what we’d consider southern states.

In fact, the rookie that’s getting the most press this year isn’t from the United States at all. Juan Pablo Montoya is from Mexico. How does one square the success of a Mexican driver among rural Southern folk, given the stereotypes we hear all the time?

How about the tracks? Well, the early part of the season takes place in the south: Talledega, Daytona, Richmond. But in June, the tour takes a decidedly non-rural South turn: Delaware, Pennsylvania, Michigan, California, and New Hampshire. After a week in Daytona (and does Florida is really considered part of the rural Southern culture?), the races head to Chicagoland, Indianapolis, back to Pennsylvania, New York, and Michigan before it spends another week in Virginia. Then back to California.

In fact, the trend over the past three or four years in NASCAR has been to move races out of the southern states. They’ve scotched one race in Darlington, SC and one in Martinsville, VA, added races in California, Kansas, Illinois (Joliet!), and Nevada. Those new races all sell out. If NASCAR is a southern thing, then there are an awful lot of rich rednecks willing to travel to California and New Hampshire every year to pack the stands. And all that NASCAR merchandise sure isn’t selling just in Georgia and North Carolina.

Gary Cooper: Since when is appreciating High Noon a southern thing? The movie itself was written by a blacklisted screenwriter and directed by an Austrian Jew. The story is not quintessentially southern: a sheriff has to face a gang of killers by himself because the town is too afraid to do what must be done. It is a story of duty and courage – themes which seem to me to resonate among all Americans, not just the rubes below the Mason-Dixon line.

I can understand someone not liking the movie. But I can’t let the Professor get away with holding up The Matrix as a counter-example. Gary Cooper vs Keanu Reeves? Come on, now. The Matrix is an excellent movie – one of my favorites. One day it may well be a classic. But it surely won’t be a classic because of its themes or its acting. It’ll be remembered for the eye-popping visual effects, the action-packed soundtrack, and the really cool kung-fuish action.

George Strait: Okay, I no great fan of George Strait either, but Dean Barnett isn’t talking specifically about the musician but the music. Country music isn’t the sole possession of the south. Shania Twain is Canadian and one of the best-selling country artists who ever lived. Her albums are produced by a Brit (to whom she’s also very happily married).

Nor are many country artists from the “rural Southern” model either. The singers who have the top five country albums this week are from Texas, Louisiana, Kansas, and two are from Oklahoma. We can keep going. Taylor Swift, at #6, is from Pennsylvania. Two of the guys from Rascal Flatts (#7) are from Ohio and the third is from Oklahoma. Alison Krauss (#8) is from Champaign, Illinois. It’s not until you hit Bucky Covington at #9 that you get someone from the “traditional” South. Of those top ten artists, only three are from states that seceded during the Civil War.

The themes of country music isn’t the sole possession of the South either. Maybe the Professor missed this monologue from noted redneck Jeff Foxworthy, but he ought to listen to it. What Foxworthy is talking about isn’t Southern. It’s American.

I’m afraid the Professor is just wrong in dismissing so cavalierly what Dean Barnett is looking for. Barnett doesn’t want a rural Southerner, at least not by what he’s listed. He wants a plain ol’ American – one who knows enough about the country in which he lives to know what’s important to an awful lot of his fellow Americans. Barnett wants someone who’s turned on the television once or twice and enjoyed a car race or a basketball game or a World Series. He wants someone who watches movies that are iconic once in a while, and who realizes why they are iconic. He wants someone who finds a passion in a musical artist who is appreciated by millions of other Americans (and who doesn’t take his spare time to spark off about how deprived and wrong America is).