Fighting Global Warming, One French-Speaking Idiot at a Time!
The Church of Global Warming has pocketed a new country: Belgium.
The government of Belgium’s French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.
French-speaking? The deuce you say!
The story says that if you want to grill a steak or two outside, it’s going to cost you 20 euros. Right now, that’s just a bit shy of 27 dollars here in the US.
And the Walloons plan on enforcing this tax, too. They have a bunch of folks ready to pounce on the rogue barbecuers. They’re even going to patrol around looking for signs of illicit outdoor meat preparation. You’re going to love how they plan on busting the grillarchists.
Dogs trained to sniff out dry rubs? Men on high towers scouring the horizon with high-powered binoculars looking for telltale smoke? A confidential snitch line?
The local authorities plan to monitor compliance with the new tax legislation from helicopters, whose thermal sensors will detect burning grills.
Helicopters.
Allow me to say…Aroo?
What do they plan on using in the fuel tanks of these helicopters, daisies and moonbeams? Unless they have radically overhauled the modern helicopter, I’m guessing that one grill patrol is going to sully the precious air a whole lot more than even a hundred barbecues.
Which, I think, gives us the true reason for the tax.
The Walloons expect a bunch of stupid people to fork over 20 Eurosmackers without complaint, the better to plump up the local budget. Maybe after a few years of having the Dumb People Tax, they’ll be able to afford something more environmentally-friendly.
Maybe really big gliders. Or condors with thermal cameras shoved up their wazoos. Or flying carpets.
(via The Corner)
UPDATE: Okay, so word is coming down via a couple of my commentors that this is an April Fools Day joke. It may well be. I’m a bit at a loss to know how you figure out that a story dated April 3 is really a joke played on April 1, but there it is.
That said, would it shock anyone to find that any EU nation had proposed such a thing? It hits all the things that governments in Europe seem to love best: new taxes, more government control over their populations, and a concerned but comically ineffective attempt to right a perceived wrong. If this story is a joke, then it’s a hell of a good one because it fits so perfectly into what has already gone before.
Of course, I probably couldn’t be blamed for fully invoking the left’s favorite “fake but accurate” standard for news. It worked for Dan Rather. It ought to work for me, right?
Related posts:
- Narwhals, the Latest Victim of Global Warming Lots and Lots of Arctic Ice
- Guess What Causes Global Warming Now?
- Global Warming – What We Can Do? (Introduction)
- Forget Global Warming. Look to the Cities.
Category: Oh the Climate, It is A-Changin'
About the Author (Author Profile)
Subscribe
If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to receive more just like it.
The article says bar-b-qing releases 500 grams of CO2… considering I pay $20 per TON of CO2 using carbon credits, this “tax” is not only rediculous on principle, but absurd in scale (4000 times too expensive).
I like the idea of Condors with thermal cameras though….but I’m sure you can find a better place to mount the camera.
Belgium local authorities deny barbequing tax reports
04/04/2007 14:15 BRUSSELS, April 4 (RIA Novosti) – The government of Wallonia has refuted allegations of plans to introduce a tax on barbequing in this Belgian French-speaking region.
Reports appeared in local media earlier in the month that a law had been approved to charge residents of the 4-million-strong region 20 euros for each grilling session beginning in June.
“We have repeatedly denied this information, which is nothing but an April Fool’s Day joke. But we never imagined it would create such a fuss,” said the press secretary of Wallonia’s minister for agricultural, rural affairs, the environment and tourism.
The media had said the new law was needed as an environmental measure and cited experts as saying that between 50 and 100 grams of CO2, a so-called greenhouse gas, was emitted during barbequing. Scientists believe CO2 emissions are a major cause of global warming.
According to the allegations, helicopters, equipped with thermal sensors to detect burning grills, were to have monitored compliance with the new tax legislation.
April Fool’s Day is celebrated in many countries April 1 by playing hoaxes and practical jokes on friends, enemies and neighbors. The practice is sometimes observed in mass media.
Yet the news report was dated April 3rd…which makes it kind of tough to identify as an April Fool’s joke, now doesn’t it?
Problem here is that the story is absolutely plausible. Bring the two great tastes of a European Nation and the Global Warming Panicfest and you know that they have to taste great together.
ME – Two things.
First, the article doesn’t say 500 grams, it says 50 to 100 grams.
Second, you may 20 bucks a ton in Carbon offsets? Sent me 15 bucks for each ton of carbon I don’t use and save yourself some money. I promise not to take international airplane flights and build a humongous mansion that uses a small town’s worth of electricity. I’ll even not run a mine for that price.
Shall I pencil you in for 100 Not Used Tons?
Hey moron, ever hear of April Fools Day? Hahaha
and Jimmie, keep those eyes peeled for the black helicopters!
Uh, Jimmie–making fun of your readers by pretending to misunderstand them is not cleverness.
EricH – I’m not sure which comment I was pretending to misunderstand.
Mark – Tell me what about this story indicates that it is an April Fool’s Joke. Seriously, here. The story was dated April 3, not April 1. It is, as I noted, a completely plausible story, considering the truly bizarre stuff that our friends over in Europe have been doing int he last few years. So what is so patently unbelievable about the story that would have tipped me off?
It was an April’s Fool joke. It was reported on the French and Belgian nightly news — available through TV 5 — on April 1 by poker-faced journalists. Apparently a lot of people bought it. The same journalists were laughing their head off the next day on the news.
I see. My comment won’t be published. Clearly, the joke was on you, since you swallowed this ridiculous story hook, line, and sinker. Of course, if you understood French or Dutch, you could have verified it by reading the various Belgian newspapers…
Holy Crap, Devil’s Advocate, keep your pants on. Comments here are frequently moderated, thanks to my spam filter. They rarely post immediately. You’ve visited and commented here before. It shouldn’t take you by surprise. Try to reign in the outrage, okay?
And come on now. You honestly expect me to read “various” Belgian newspapers? I read more widely than 95 percent of the world’s population (something else that should be obvious from your frequent visits here) and you’re giving me heat for not poring over however many Belgian newspapers? Please. I’ll get right on that after I learn French and Dutch. Hold your breath until I’m done.
Yes, Sir! I won’t do it again, Sir! Please accept my abject apologies, Sir!
Darling, I expect you to check your sources thoroughly.
That a story about an April Fool’s joke ran on April 3rd hardly disqualifies the subject matter as an April Fool’s joke.
It’s a ridiculous claim that, because a story ran on April 3rd, it cannot be the result of an April Fool’s prank.
The originating post conjures the invective that the idiot French (speakers) in Belgium are doing idiot things. Shades of “Freedom Fries” and “Freedom Toast”.
This blogger ascribes the most abhorrent of intentions to this joke, suggests that enforcing the statute would consume more energy than conserved, and claims it to be a scheme to separate fools from their money.
Instead, it served to ferret out a fool’s biased conjecture. Damn those French (speakers) and their socialist agenda.
This blogger’s latest contribution presents the excuse that no one should be surprised that such a story was believed since it concerns an EU nation. Because this ridiculous, socialistic restriction is attributed to an EU nation, it must be plausible.
Rather than making excuses for your naivety, maybe you should just admit that you were suckered by a prank. Maybe you should just acknowledge that your predilections motivated you to accept this story without questions and ascribe to it a misguided, nonsensical, liberal agenda where no such thing existed.
Garv
Wow, Garv. That’s a lot of words to simply say “You were wrong, admit it”.
I did do an update that allows that it could have been a prank. However, based on the information available to me at the time, it seems quite plausible. Even you would have to admit that, I would hope.
new taxes, more government control over their populations, and a concerned but comically ineffective attempt to right a perceived wrong
Yeah. Kind of like TSA.
You get no argument from me about TSA.
I think that the entire Department of Homeland Security was a wildly overblown government panic reaction. I’d be hard-pressed to find a part of it that works really well.
It’s not an April Fools joke for you, since you are a 12 months a year, 24/7 fool, like all your fellow sedentary militants of the conservatariat.
Yep…that’s us. Militants.
All those speech codes on campus? Conservatives?
The folks that tried to toss out one of its most faithful members (and recent Vice Presidential candidate) because he disagreed with them on just one issue? Conservatives again.
The big thinkers who invite racists to their debates but who think attending one co-sponsored by a major news network is tantamount to criminality? You got it. Conservatives again.
You really got us pegged, we militant group-thinkers.
Cleaver why don't you do the human race a favor and go step in front of a Semi on the LA Freeway? What a complete POS you are.
It may have been meant as a joke but don't think for a minute that some government moron won't see it and think it is a good idea. Just look at Al Gore, he has been proven to be the world's biggest liar but there are plenty of morons who fall for his BS hook, line and sinker.
Al Gore has really stepped in it this time. He could have spent the rest of his global warming career collecting money by spreading fear over events that were a centure or at least half century in the future. Oh, but that wasn't good enough for Big Al. He's now told the biggest global warming whopper of his alarmist career:
AL GORE HAS GUARANTEED THAT THE NORTHERN POLAR ICE CAP WILL BE COMPLETELY GONE IN FIVE YEARS!!!
When I heard this I assumed it was a rumor started by skeptics to make Gore look bad. It wasn't until I viewed the video that I realized what Gore had done. Gore has started a five year credibility countdown timer ticking and it's up to all of us to make sure that he is held accountable and proven to be a fraud when his dire prediction aimed at drumming up support doesn't come close to comming true.
The mainstream media isn't going to let this video see the light of day because they, unlike Al, understand the precarious position in which he has placed himself.
It is therefore up to us to spread the word about Big Al's prediction. He must be exposed for the fearmongering opportunist that he has become.
To view the video, please visit the following site and click on the picture of Big Al holding up five fingers.
http://www.hootervillegazette.com
While visiting this site, you might want to watch a preview of the film "Not Evil, Just wrong" or watch "The Great Global Warming Swindle" which is found in the video section. Happy Viewing!!!