The Church of Global Warming has pocketed a new country: Belgium.
The government of Belgium’s French-speaking region of Wallonia, which has a population of about 4 million, has approved a tax on barbequing, local media reported.
French-speaking? The deuce you say!
The story says that if you want to grill a steak or two outside, it’s going to cost you 20 euros. Right now, that’s just a bit shy of 27 dollars here in the US.
And the Walloons plan on enforcing this tax, too. They have a bunch of folks ready to pounce on the rogue barbecuers. They’re even going to patrol around looking for signs of illicit outdoor meat preparation. You’re going to love how they plan on busting the grillarchists.
Dogs trained to sniff out dry rubs? Men on high towers scouring the horizon with high-powered binoculars looking for telltale smoke? A confidential snitch line?
The local authorities plan to monitor compliance with the new tax legislation from helicopters, whose thermal sensors will detect burning grills.
Allow me to say…Aroo?
What do they plan on using in the fuel tanks of these helicopters, daisies and moonbeams? Unless they have radically overhauled the modern helicopter, I’m guessing that one grill patrol is going to sully the precious air a whole lot more than even a hundred barbecues.
Which, I think, gives us the true reason for the tax.
The Walloons expect a bunch of stupid people to fork over 20 Eurosmackers without complaint, the better to plump up the local budget. Maybe after a few years of having the Dumb People Tax, they’ll be able to afford something more environmentally-friendly.
Maybe really big gliders. Or condors with thermal cameras shoved up their wazoos. Or flying carpets.
(via The Corner)
UPDATE: Okay, so word is coming down via a couple of my commentors that this is an April Fools Day joke. It may well be. I’m a bit at a loss to know how you figure out that a story dated April 3 is really a joke played on April 1, but there it is.
That said, would it shock anyone to find that any EU nation had proposed such a thing? It hits all the things that governments in Europe seem to love best: new taxes, more government control over their populations, and a concerned but comically ineffective attempt to right a perceived wrong. If this story is a joke, then it’s a hell of a good one because it fits so perfectly into what has already gone before.
Of course, I probably couldn’t be blamed for fully invoking the left’s favorite “fake but accurate” standard for news. It worked for Dan Rather. It ought to work for me, right?
Category: Oh the Climate, It is A-Changin'