Dick Cheney Don’t Need No Gun.

I don’t entirely buy this story.

WASHINGTON – Vice President
Dick Cheney accidentally shot and injured a man during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, his spokeswoman said Sunday.

Harry Whittington, 78, was “alert and doing fine” after Cheney sprayed him with shotgun pellets on Saturday while the two were hunting at the Armstrong Ranch in south Texas, said property owner Katharine Armstrong.

Dick Cheney hunting with a gun?

Nonsense.

Everyone knows that Dick Cheney can bring down a bull moose at 80 yards with only a stern glance and a muttered epithet. I imagine that a quail would take perhaps an aside of his eyes and a cough – about what he used to emasculate Pat Leahy on the floor of the Senate.

CLASSLESS TWITS UPDATE: Jim and Sarah Brady, the firearm Cassandras, put out a statement.

WASHINGTON, Feb. 12 /U.S. Newswire/ — James and Sarah Brady made comments today related to Vice President Cheney’s reportedly accidental shooting yesterday in Texas.

“Now I understand why
Dick Cheney keeps asking me to go hunting with him,” said Jim Brady. “I had a friend once who accidentally shot pellets into his dog – and I thought he was an idiot.”

“I’ve thought Cheney was scary for a long time,” Sarah Brady said. “Now I know I was right to be nervous.”

Exactly. Because Dick Cheney wants nothing more than to plug Sarah Brady and mount her empty head above his mantlepiece. Right.

I suppose any publicity is good publicity, even if it makes you look like a complete weenbucket.

Come to think of it, if Sarah Brady’s head were stuffed with sawdust, it might be the first thing of substance that’s been there in years.

CAN YOU FEEL THE PURE EVIL UPDATE: Get a load of the photo that Yahoo has put next to the story.

Can you hear the minor-chord organ music in the background? The hounds baying? The maniacal laughter?