The End of the World is Nigh!

It has started snowing in the Washington, DC area, and you know what that means.

You won’t be able to find a drop of milk, a crust of bread, or a shred of toilet paper within 20 miles of the city center.

The forecast is for somewhere around 2-4 inches this afternoon and evening and another 2-4 inches overnight.

It is what we have all feared here since June – the White Frozen Apocalypse. Kind of like this, only without dashingly handsome Dennis Quaid or globally-overrated actor Jale Gyllenhall (or however the hell he spells his name).

I’m ready, though, because I’ve remembered the most important thing:

It’s never too early to start planning your Donner Party.

I’ve already begun to choose my trusted lieutenants and faithful followers. One of the clerks who works in my building has come to me and told me that she has some Ho-Ho’s and a Hot Pocket squirreled away. You can’t buy fawning loyalty like that, no Sir.

She’ll be eaten last.

No related posts.

Category: General