It’s Easy to Bash Christians, if You Don’t Actually Know Anything About the Bible

Today, Nicholas Kristof, writing in the New York Times violates a writing dictum: write about what you know.

His op-ed concerns the “Left Behind” series of books and how they portray the eventual end of non-Christians.

His mendacity only starts with the first paragraph and snowballs from there. It is, perhaps, the most egregious piece of anti-Christian tripe I’ve read in a major newspaper in a very long time.

The “Left Behind” series, the best-selling novels for adults in the U.S., enthusiastically depict Jesus returning to slaughter everyone who is not a born-again Christian. The world’s Hindus, Muslims, Jews and agnostics, along with many Catholics and Unitarians, are heaved into everlasting fire: “Jesus merely raised one hand a few inches and . . . they tumbled in, howling and screeching.”

Kristof returns to the use of the word “slaughter” more than once in his editorial, which is only the first of his big mistakes.

No where in the Bible does it even imply that the unbelieving will be slaughtered. It does say, in several places, that they will be cast into everlasting torment, not killed. Kristof is a skilled author and I think there was a reason he chose that word specifically, and here it is.

If Saudi Arabians wrote an Islamic version of this series, we would furiously demand that sensible Muslims repudiate such hatemongering. We should hold ourselves to the same standard.

Uh huh. There it is – the equivocation of Fundamentalist Christians and Fundamentalist Muslims.

Only there is a difference, but not that you’re going to get from him. Fundamentalist Muslims believe that their God has commanded them to slaughter people right here on this Earth. Fundamentalist Christians believe that God will do his own judging and doom unbelievers to eternal torment on the Judgement Day.

Makes things just the tiniest bit different, doesn’t it?

Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, the co-authors of the series, have both e-mailed me (after I wrote about the “Left Behind” series in July) to protest that their books do not “celebrate” the slaughter of non-Christians but simply present the painful reality of Scripture.

“We can’t read it some other way just because it sounds exclusivistic and not currently politically correct,” Mr. Jenkins said in an e-mail. “That’s our crucible, an offensive and divisive message in an age of plurality and tolerance.”

Silly me. I’d forgotten the passage in the Bible about how Jesus intends to roast everyone from the good Samaritan to Gandhi in everlasting fire, simply because they weren’t born-again Christians.

Yes, you certainly did. Devil’s Advocate has a couple you could read, you know, in case you’re inclined to post a follow-up column to this. I, personally, would like to direct you to the words of Jesus himself, from Matthew 25:31-46. And it’s right up in the front of the New Testament, easy to find, and conveniently placed. I can understand how you might have forgotten it.

But note how Jenkins and Lahaye protest the “slaughter” lie of Kristof, and he attempts to refute it by changing the accusation. First, it’s slaughter, then it’s just roasting in everlasting fire. Of course, equating the two is critical.

I accept that Mr. Jenkins and Mr. LaHaye are sincere. (They base their conclusions on John 3.) But I’ve sat down in Pakistani and Iraqi mosques with Muslim fundamentalists, and they offered the same defense: they’re just applying God’s word.

If you don’t keep that lie alive, you can’t compare them to the Fundamentalist Muslims, now can you?

And hey! There’s a biblical reference from Jenkins and Lahaye right there from Kristof! Maybe he remembered it right after he wrote the paragraph before it. I guess he had a hard time remembering it because he had a bigger fish to (ahem) fry.

Now, I’ve often written that blue staters should be less snooty toward fundamentalist Christians, and I realize that this column will seem pretty snooty. But if I praise the good work of evangelicals – like their superb relief efforts in Darfur – I’ll also condemn what I perceive as bigotry. A dialogue about faith must move past taboos and discuss differences bluntly. That’s what blue staters and red staters need to do about religion and the “Left Behind” books.

Again, Kristof is wrong. This column doesn’t seem snooty. It seems factually incorrect and bigoted. Maybe that’s just how I “perceive” it, though.

But, really, what Kristof has a problem with is that some people read the entire Bible and take it at face value while he reads some of it, discards – or conveniently forgets – parts of it, and calls the former group of people bigots.

But religion doesn’t come a la carte and neither do religious texts. You don’t get the option of obeying six of the Ten Commandments. You either take it all or leave it all. You expecially have to take the parts that are explicit and, like it or not, the Bible is quite specific about the fate of unbelievers. We can’t just ignore it because it makes us squirm uncomfortably.

But Kristof’s not nearly done yet. Not only are the authors of the books (and those who believe the Bible on which the books are based) bigots, they’re profitmongering, selfish bigots.

For starters, it’s worth pointing out that those predicting an apocalypse have a long and lousy record. In America, tens of thousands of followers of William Miller waited eagerly for Jesus to reappear on Oct. 22, 1844. Some of these Millerites had given away all their belongings, and the no-show was called the Great Disappointment.

In more recent times, the best-selling nonfiction book of the 1970′s was Hal Lindsey’s “The Late Great Planet Earth,” selling 18 million copies worldwide with its predictions of a Second Coming. Then, one of the hottest best sellers in 1988 was a booklet called “88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be in 1988.” Oops.

Wait. Stop. Hold on.

Jenkins and Lahaye, or for that matter, most evangelical preachers, are not predicting when Judgement Day will happen. They only say that it will happen (because it’s, you know, Biblical).

Kristof equates the Lahayes to these false prophets quite sneakily and then delivers what he thinks is his telling blow.

Now we have the hugely profitable “Left Behind” financial empire, whose Web site flatly says that the authors “think this generation will witness the end of history.” The site sells every “Left Behind” spinoff imaginable, including screen savers, regular prophecies sent to your mobile phone, children’s versions of the books, audiobooks, graphic novels, videos, calendars, music and a $6.50-a-month prophesy club. This isn’t religion, this is brand management.

If Mr. LaHaye and Mr. Jenkins honestly believe that the end of the world may be imminent, why not waive royalties? Why don’t they use the millions of dollars in profits to help the poor – and increase their own chances of getting into heaven?

Mr. Jenkins told me that he gives 20 to 40 percent of his income to charity, and that’s commendable. But there are millions more where that came from. Mr. LaHaye and Mr. Jenkins might spend less time puzzling over obscure passages in the Book of Revelation and more time with the straightforward language of Matthew 6:19, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth.” Or Matthew 19:21, where Jesus advises a rich man: “Sell your possessions and give the money to the poor. . . . It will be hard for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of Heaven.”

Well, okay. Christians all have to be poor before they get the Nicholas Kristof Seal of Approval. And he brings some Biblical evidence to prove it.

I’m not going to dismantle his “arguments” in any great detail, because I don’t need to do it. You’re all smart people, far smarter than Kristof thinks you are.

First, the Matthew reference. Kristof, not surprisngly, cherry-picks the section. If you read the whole chapter (and I hope you will. It’s not a long read), you get pretty plainly that Jesus is speaking on a theme. That theme is humility and not seeking earthly accolades for your virtue, prosperity, or worship. Here’s the summation of the whole section, if you don’t want to read it (but, really. read it!): Lots of people do what they do because of the attention it gets them down here on earth, and that’s fine. That’s all they’ll ever get. You believers, on the other hand, have to take a longer view of your existence and realize that what matters isn’t what other people notice you doing, but what you’re actually doing. That’s what your Heavenly Father notices.

Not quite a call for poverty, is it?

The second reference is bent way out of proportion as well. The passage he quotes is from the middle of a story. A rich young man came up to Jesus, seeking (some believe insincerely and I think the text bears that out) the way to eternal life. Jesus starts by telling him that he must keep the commandments. The rich man, asks him, specifically, which ones. Well, Jesus hits him with the tough ones: thievery, lying, adultery, honoring your parents, and loving your neighbor as yourself. That didn’t stop the rich man. He said that he’d done those things all his life (do you believe that? I don’t think Jesus did and his next requirement, I think, proves that). Jesus them told him that he should go sell everything he owned, give the money away completely, and follow him.

Of course, the rich man didn’t do that. Why? Because he loved wealth more than he loved God.

And that was the entire point of the conversation, and the lesson that followed in the chapter (and you did read that, too, right? Good!). What’s necessary to live the best and most Christlike life you possibly can is to understand that nothing can get in between you and God – not your own wants or desires, not material possessions, nothing.

Now Kristof accuses the authors of hoarding money, but he has no clue whether they do or not. he does tell us Jenkins gives between 20 and 40 (!) percent of his income to charity. I can tell you right now that most Christian religions require that their members give ten percent to the church, which means that he gives 10-30 percent more than that. Does Kristof give that much to charity?

Ah but Kristof doesn’t have to. He’s just a newspaper columnist, not an evangelical Christian. We hold them to a higher standard than we ourselves are willing to live up to – at least Kristof appears to.

Kristof wraps up his column by missing the point of the books entirely. He so fixates on his mistaken belief that Jenkins and Lahaye are predicting when the Judgement Day will come that he ignores what they are saying in their books: that the Bible predicts a dire torment for those who have not accepted Jesus as their personal savior. That, in Kristof’s mind, is bigotry, and can be dismissed out of hand (except to be used as a tool to revile the bigots).

What’s important is not the message. It’s the messenger. And he sums up his column of falsehood and smugness with a challenge.

So I challenge the authors to a bet: if the events of the Apocalypse arrive in the next 10 years, then I’ll donate $500 to the battle against the Antichrist; if it doesn’t, you donate $500 to a charity of my choosing that fights poverty – and bigotry.

Gentlemen, do we have a deal?

No, Mr. Kristof, I don’t imagine you do.

But I have a deal for you. I’m a humble blogger and I don’t have a lot of money to throw around, but I’ll make you a challenge.

If you can show me one single instance in the Bible where Jesus – or anyone else – says that those who are not born-again will be slaughtered on Judgement Day, I’ll publicly apologize. I’ll not only do it in this blog, but I’ll do it in any other venue you wish.

But if you can’t then I want a public apology from you. I want you, in your column, to apologize to Jenkins and Lahaye for your insinuations about them and to those Bible-believers in this country whose beliefs you represented so you could ridicule them.

I’ll give you a couple weeks to work on it. It shouldn’t be hard – the Bible’s not that big a book.

Mr. Kristof, do we have a deal?

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Category: Oh, THAT liberal media.